Knitting Frenzy!

A few of the girls that I work with knit. It’s become a ‘thing’ now. I’ve sat and watched them knit with fascination for a couple of years now, and it’s only since Thursday that I started to try myself. It’s actually quite fun. I’ve only got one basic stitch down, but when I’ve learnt all the tricks of the trade, I’ll be knitting up a storm!

If you think knitting is only for old ladies who make awful, slightly wonky Christmas jumpers, think again! 

I saw a girl on the tube quite recently, nose stud, black leather trousers, über trendy retro rolled fringe. And she was happily knitting away like the needles were extra fingers. It was pretty damn cool. 
I’m starting with the easy stuff – a scarf. Maybe a baby blanket for a friend who is expecting.
You know, flat rectangular things. All in one colour. But hopefully I’ll move on and be able to make a lovely chunky jumper for next winter (or Christmas 2015 – it’ll probably take me that long!), some snuggly bed socks or (my initial plan) I’ll be able to make super weird and crazy projects, the likes of which I’ve seen flying around on the internet. I’m sharing with you now some of my favourites to dispel the belief that knitting’s for crazy old women. It’s for crazy young women too!

Future children of mine, beware. I am most definitely going to do something like this to you.

This is horrifying. You could play a really mean trick on someone with this. “Happy Birthday! Haha! It’s NOT REAL CAKE!”

This is insane. And an even better joke. You could play it on your boyfriend for getting you that crappy gift voucher. “Hey look babe! I got you a Ferrari for your birthday! Haha! IT’S NOT REAL!” (That’s probably why that girl next to it looks so smug – the perfect, if extremely elaborate, revenge gift).

Knitted plants – for the commitment-phobe/lazy person. They will live forever!

I’ve seen loads of these teeny tiny knitted creations whilst browsing around. I can tell you now, I will never have the patience to make something this damn small. SUPER cute though.

 For some reason the most popular non-clothing item to knit is food. How bizarre! But it’s strangely cute.

What would you do with it though? But look at the cute eyes just calling! Oh, the terrible inner turmoil. I want it? But what do I want it for? But look at the EYES! Arrrrgh!

The more I look around the internet, the more bizarre things are getting. I’m starting to think that knitting is being taken up by the sociopaths and complete weirdos of the world. This is why…

(All these knitted burgers are making me crave one. A real one that is.)

(Emily Stoneking sells these on Etsy if this is your thing. She does dissected aliens and all sorts)

And to end this bizarre run around of knitted paraphernalia…