30.10.14

IS HE A FOR KEEPS?

Talk about the ideal male makes little sense in a time where all the best samples are homosexuals. However this should not throw yourself down my dear friends but rather the contrary, it should encourage not to settle for the first asshole who put 'I like' on one of your photos on Facebook.



Because even if we live in a vale of tears you have to expect a boyfriend who achieve at least the sufficiency. Let's see what are the minimum quality standards below which it's not advisable to pursue a relationship.

Reliability: If he asks you for a date, I don't say that he should arrive earlier but at least at the appointed time.
Listen: Neurosciences have shown that the high-pitched tone of voice of women affects the frontal lobe male anesthetizing it. After a bit of time when a woman speaks any man falls to sleep, the important thing is that your boyfriend doesn't start to snore.
Manner: He burps strong both in the intimacy that in social contexts, but every time he does it with his hand over his mouth and apologizes.
Work: There's a crisis so you can't expect him to have a job, but make sure he wants to have it.
Culture: He must know how to use verb tenses.
Courtship: To impress you he doesn't have to roar the engine of the car at traffic lights or turn up the bass of the car radio: at this point better if he picks you up with a bike.
Friends: It's good if he has friends, otherwise he would be sociopathic; just make sure he doesn't want to marry them.
Mother: If you show him a picture of you and one of his mother, he must be able to recognize which of the two women loves him genetically and wich one as a boy.
Jealousy: When you speak with another man he stoically resists the temptation to rip his enemy's heart and leaves you finish the speech.
Sex: Consider his record of duration. It's up to you girl, you 've got the power!



Free time: Don't want to be his first thought when he decides how to spend his free time. If you're in his top 5 it's already a good result.
Chivalry: If he doesn't always apply the rule of good manners "ladies first" at least you have to pretend he'll do it during sex.
Clothing: Whatever he wears, he should never look like the giant version of a lazy boy of middle school.
Cold blood: He must be able to defend you from at least one of these categories of animals: insects, rodents, spiders, birds, ex-girlfriends.
Manual skills: The man who knows how to build furniture or repair appliances is perfect. Be content that he doesn't break them moving in your house in his underwear.
Rebellion: All men go through a rebellious phase where they compare their penis, throw violent punches on their shoulders and they are proud to drink until they lose consciousness. Make sure that he has passed his puberty.
Ambitions: Nowadays there are two categories of ambitions: artistic ones (your boy hopes his band will be successful) and technological ones (your boyfriend wants to invent a new social network). Between the two, choose the technologic one, so at least he could fix your computer.
Romanticism: the line that separates romanticism and homosexuality is thin. Keep in mind this rule: if your man makes a romantic gesture without expecting in return sexual favors... then try to get another man.

...Good luck!



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"Hi! I'm Veruska, an Italian graduate lost in London. I'm absolutely moody, lazy, jealous, pessimistic and shy. Passionate about something different everyday. Teenager inside, but not on ID card anymore."