Left, left, left, RIGHT! Left, left, left...

Ah, Tinder, Tinder, Tinder. What would our gossip be without you? What would we be doing in those dead Sunday hours in which all efforts made to tidy up the room or get done with homework seem to fail inevitable? In which other ways would our self-esteem be reinforced or, as commonly as the latter, annihilated? 

I am not going to redundantly write about how popular this app is in London, about this and that percentage of people doing this and that with it, or about how ethically correct or incorrect might be. But I’m just gonna tell you, it’s like going to Primark for shopping. Oh yeah, I signed up to the app, by the way. Yes, I admit it! But it’s not what you think, I’m not trying to fill an existential hole with hollow encounters. As always, for the sake of gossip and for the sake of fun, my friends got me into it over the weekend. Though reluctantly, I thought I should give it a try.

So, yes, it’s pretty much like shopping. You’ve probably experienced this very well-known situation: you in a big clothes store, thousands of items hanging in display for you to choose. You start to wonder aimlessly through corridors of fabrics, stopping from time to time to check on that rack of shirts, and start to drag one by one with your hands, almost mechanically, till you find the one that calls your attention over the others. You take it out and decide to give it a try. With Tinder it’s pretty much like that: endless left-thumbing of the pictures till you finally find the one that will go to the right, and maybe luckily, it’s a match!

As you well know (oh yes, we know you’re also into Tinder, don’t try to hide it. All of us are!), the search is based on location and proximity. Clearly this has been thought with the express purpose of making the encounters easier. Travel should be never be an excuse for fun! So, anyway, this is obviously very handy. You don’t want to come back to his place, which is two hours by train away, just to pick up the earrings you left the night before. And I’m pretty sure nobody could foresee the actual disadvantages of it.

It’s Sunday night, I’m lying on bed with the lights off, trying to fall asleep. Just to pass the time, I start playing with Tinder. Mostly lefts, a few rights. I’m picky. I finally fade away into sleep, not caring too much, rather, not caring at all about all my Tinder activity that night. The next day develops as normally and dully as any Monday is expected to be developed. Alarm clock rings at 7, typical struggle to get out of bed. The cereals and the coffee, the writing on the computer, the training a couple of hours later. Some reading and finally, let’s prepare some lunch before work. Oh, there’s no rice nor cous cous. Ok. Oh, there’s no salad. Ok. Wait, there’s no tuna either? Bugger! I need to change to go to the supermarket. Once there, I pick up all needed quickly (to be honest not much of my regular diet changes from week to week, so finding the food amongst the aisles is quite repetitive, hence easy and fast). There’s a bit of a long queue to pay, so I stand there patiently. Not very aware at first, I gradually start to notice that the guy behind the cashing machine stares at me a bit too much. Is it my imagination? No wait, he’s definitely staring. Is it flirtatiously? I take a closer look. Actually, it’s definitely not flirtatiously, quite the opposite, he seems to look at me somehow...resentfully!I approach the cashing machine.”Hi, good morning””Morning””Gloomy day, huh?”No answer. He keeps on staring really fixedly at me. Should I be scared by now?He puts everything in the bag rather brutally. I think the rest of the people on the queue noticed. I asked very quietly, “mmm, thank you, is everything ok?”A pause. After a while he says, “Well, no it’s not ok. You didn’t match me! What’s your problem?!”Not knowing if that was a prank or unreal real life, I just walked away half amused half embarrassed.
It’s good to have your matches close, but better is to have your mismatches even closer, let’s say in your local supermarket.


"Hi!  I am Florencia, a recently graduated Arts teacher, actress and eager reader and writer. Also, a great adventurer, day-dreamer and imaginer, who loves long walks and colourful sunset skies."